My Love For You
by Shaychickuk
Summary: Harry loves Hermione...Hermione love Harry...She marries, he marries...will they ever be happy?Eventual HHr
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine!!!!

Oh My Merlin!!!

Okay here's the first chapter for my new fic - which i'm trying desperately trying to find time to write given the fact that I have a 3 year old and it's almost Christmas!

Anyway - let me know what you think please.

Ruthie

* * *

**My Love For You**

**Chapter One**

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

Hermione Jane Granger

And

Ronald Bilius Weasley

On

23rd March 2002 at

The Burrow

Commencing at 12.30pm

He thought it was just another 'congratulations-on-finally-defeating-He-who-must-not-be-named' card. He thought he would be able to open it and then carelessly toss it onto the log fire like all the others. But what he saw made his blood turn to ice, a cold sweat appear instantly on his furrowed brow and his mouth suddenly void of any moisture.

_Married? _He thought, _I can't believe she's actually going through with it – all they do is argue and then don't speak to each other for days on end!_

Harry James Potter ran a hand through his already messy black hair and sighed deeply. Of course he knew they were engaged. He knew they had been planning a wedding. Hell, he'd even agreed to be Ron's best man…but seeing it in black and white (well, silver and cream) it just made it all horribly real.

His bright green eyes came to rest back on the immaculate invitation. His best friend's since their first year at school were about to tie the knot, and he wasn't happy about it. He would have liked to have said that he couldn't explain his disdain, but he knew damn well why he was against the whole idea.

He was in love with Hermione.

He could even pinpoint the precise moment when he realised his feelings.

FLASHBACK

_Harry glanced around the battlefield that was once his childhood home. Godric's Hollow was a bloody mass of bodies strewn about, some alive, some dead._

_He was searching for his tormentor, the – _thing_ that had made his life such a nightmare since Harry had been just a baby when he had tried to take his life. His mother's love had been the unforeseen power that had thwarted Lord Voldemort's attempts and the spell had rebounded from Harry back onto the Dark Lord, and he had been left as nothing more than a mere fragment of himself. A seventh to be exact._

_Harry, meanwhile, had a lightening-bolt shaped scar on his forehead that served as a constant reminder of what had happened. Not only was it an eyesore but it also caused him a painful insight into Voldemort's emotions and dark dealings. That was how he knew that He-who-must-not-be-named would be in Godric's Hollow and the reason why The Order of the Phoenix had decided to launch a surprise attack on the dark side._

_Harry could see other Order members dodging curses and fighting with all their heart and souls. He spotted his best friend Ron squaring up to Lucius Malfoy. The tall blonde Death Eater was calmly, almost lazily blocking each of Ron's curses, then uttered the word "Crucio" and sneered as he watched his victim squirming on ground as unbelievable waves of pain hit his body from all possible angles. Harry was about to go to Ron's aid when out of the blue a bright red light hit the Death Eater in his chest and he crumpled to the ground. _

_Then Hermione appeared next to Ron and helped him back onto his feet, checking he was alright. She glanced around her hastily but stopped when she saw Harry was watching them._

_Her expression had conveyed her innermost feelings, fear, panic, exhaustion and most importantly (to Harry anyway) pride. All in one split-second look, then it was gone…and so was she._

"_Harry Potter," Came a menacing voice from behind, dragging him back to the reason why they were all here in the first place. "How - brave of you to come."_

_Harry span around coming face to face with his nemesis. Voldemort sneered smugly back at him._

"_Expelli-"_

"_Crucio!"_

_Now it was Harry's turn to writhe on the floor in excruciating pain. He desperately tried to block the curse, but it was to no avail. _

_As the pain subsided Harry took a moment to regain his composure. He'd be damned to Hell before begging for mercy!_

"_So – just let me know when you're ready to surrender. I'll make it quick – you won't feel a thing!" Voldemort teased, circling Harry like a vulture watching his prey._

"_Surrender to you! I think you're going delusional in your old age 'cause we both know that'll never happen!" Harry spat, scrambling back to his feet._

"_Do you honestly think you can defeat me, boy?"_

_Voldemort's smugness grated on Harry's last nerve and he blurted out the one thing he'd planned on keeping to himself. "Shouldn't be a problem now that I've destroyed all the Horcruxes!"_

_Harry watched as Voldemort faltered for a moment, and he felt a surge of power building up inside him – finally he had something on the Dark Lord and it felt good. He felt powerful._

"_I must admit I'm surprised Harry. I really didn't think you had it in you. The horcruxes weren't obvious choices, how did you track them down once the 'Old Man' was dead?"_

_Harry tapped the side of his nose cryptically, "Now that would be telling."_

_Voldemort looked questioningly at him for a second before realisation flittered across his pale snake-like features. _

"_Ahh – of course! The Mudblood!"_

_Anger boiled up inside Harry as if it were being brewed in a caldron. _

"_How dare you talk about her like that? She ten times the person you'd ever be!" He growled, gripping his wand so tight that he thought it might snap._

"_Oh this is wonderful Harry – just wonderful." _

"_What is?" Harry demanded, utterly confused at why Voldemort should find that particular piece of information so intriguing._

"_Don't you see? Now it is I who has the upper hand…you love her!" Voldemort broke into peels of laughter and Harry's scar burst with pain, making him double up clutching his throbbing head. _

_It was the worst he'd ever experienced – more than likely due to their close proximity, but then as suddenly as it had attacked him it had gone. Standing back up to his full height of six feet he clutched his wand poised to attack. As his eyes focused he found, to his surprise, that Voldemort was flat on his back as furious glare in his piercing red eyes. Then, Harry felt a soft touch on his arm and heard _her_ voice. _

"_Full body bind – I'll leave the rest to you!"_

END FLASHBACK

That had been the moment he realised, even Voldemort had figured it out before him. It had walloped him around the head in spectacular fashion and, even now, six months later, she still had the same hold on his heart.

But she was marrying Ron. And that meant it was an impossible situation. He had no one to vent his frustration out on and even if he did he couldn't possibly speak the words – it would make it all so real – and it would most probably break him.

He had come close to telling her – so many times – usually when he was consoling her after yet another falling out with Ron. She always came to him, but it wasn't any consolation really. Not when he knew she wasn't really happy, neither of them were. But what could he do about it without seeming that he was, in effect, breaking them up?

He had gone over the possibilities so many times. He imagined that he'd tell her one day – and she'd fall into his arms and they'd get married and have two point four children, blah, blah, blah. He knew deep down that it wouldn't happen that way, but it didn't stop the dreams from torturing his subconscious every night.

"Harry, you okay mate?"

Harry jumped as Ron's quizzical voice invaded his thoughts. He had been so deeply involved with yet another daydream about stealing Hermione from under Ron's nose that he hadn't even heard his friend apparate into his flat.

"Bloody hell Ron, don't do that!" Harry put a hand over his thumping heart as if to slow it down.

Ron chuckled, "God, you sounded just like me then…good job Herms didn't here you."

Forcing a laugh, Harry inwardly grimaced. He could almost hear Hermione scolding Ron for calling her by the nickname she despised so much.

"So…you ready then?" Ron enquired, clapping his hands together nervously.

Harry just stared back at Ron desperately trying to rack his brains to remember what the hell he'd agreed to do this time.

"Wedding outfits…remember, mate…we need to go and choose our outfits for my wedding!"

Ron's smile returned as a look of realisation crossed Harry's pale face.

"Ah, right you are, Ron…just give me two seconds to throw on my trainers and grab my jacket." Harry hurried round his flat trying to make up for forgetting about their arrangement.

As much as Harry wanted Hermione to be with him instead of Ron, he would never want to intentionally hurt him. He loved Ron, he was his best friend after all, but Hermione…well, she was different. Harry lived for her. He called her or saw her every single day, just because he couldn't let a day go by without seeing her beauty or hearing her soft voice. They were destined to be together, he knew it. What he didn't know was how or when!

Two hours later Harry and Ron had chosen their dress robes for the wedding and were taking a well earned break in the Leaky Cauldron, when Fred and George burst through the door and made their way straight over to the two friends.

"Hey Ronnikins…Hermione's on the warpath again!"

Ron's glass banged onto the wooden table loudly and he wiped the froth from his mouth with the back of his hand. "What the bloody hell for this time?" He cursed.

Fred shrugged, "Apparently the robes you've chosen will clash with the bridesmaid's outfits…or something like that!"

With a snort Ron said, "I'm beginning to regret asking Hermione to marry me now!"

Harry turned his head to glare at his red headed friend, just daring him to say anything derogatory about Hermione.

"I mean…I, you know, love her and everything…but she's bloody mental when it comes down to this sodding wedding!"

"Well, you gotta expect a girl like Hermione's gonna go a little crazy over something as big as a wedding." George pointed out, taking a swig of his Butterbeer.

Harry nodded and had to agree with that, "But all women are the same surely?"

"Mum was when Bill got married and she wasn't even the bride!" Fred added. "And I'm sure Ginny will be worse when she finally drags some poor unsuspecting bloke down the aisle!"

The party of four lapsed into a silence, unsure of how to make light of the situation.

"Well?" Fred said eventually, glancing at Ron.

"Well what?" Ron replied taking another long sip of Butterbeer.

"Don't you think you should find her and sort out the robes?" George answered, grinning slightly at his younger brother.

Ron sighed deeply, knowing his life probably wouldn't be worth living if he didn't. "Guess I'd better…unless…Harry you could go instead…Herms won't yell at you like she will at me!"

Harry rolled his eyes looking extremely put out by the request. But inside his heart was hammering on his ribcage, demanding to be let out of its prison. "I suppose so…but you owe me big style. I'll say you got called in to work."

"Thanks mate." Ron sighed deeply with relief.

"Its okay – at least this means whatever I plan for your stag do, you can't reproach me for it!" Harry laughed before apparating with soft _pop_.

Staring up at Hermione's flat window Harry forced himself to take several deep breaths before building up the courage to ring the buzzer. It took her almost a minute to respond.

"Hello?"

"Hi it's Harry."

Harry heard the door unlock as she told him to go straight up. Feeling the nerves begin to build up again he decided to climb the five flights of stairs instead of taking the lift.

His mind was whirring. How could Hermione possibly want Ron as a husband? Marriage was for life, to Hermione and Harry anyway, but Ron? Well, only Merlin would know the answer to that one! To be fair his parents had been together for donkey's years and he adored them both. But whether his impending marriage to Hermione would be as upstanding and lasting, only time would tell but Harry seriously doubted it.

In no time at all he was standing in front of the door to Hermione's flat, his heart pounding. But before he could raise his hand and knock the door swung open and he was pulled inside by his robes.

"Harry – honestly, where's Ron? I cannot believe he has sent you instead of having the balls to face me himself!" Hermione snapped as soon as the door slammed behind them. He couldn't help but notice how stunning she looked when she was angry.

"Woah, Mione…look Ron thought he was doing the right thing with the robes, and they are pretty nice…" Harry started, but was cut off by Hermione.

"Huh…robes? That's the least of his problems!" She snorted, flopping down onto her oversized leather sofa and putting her head in her hands looking as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Harry sat next to her and rubbed her back soothingly. He didn't know what the hell she was going on about, but, Merlin, she was gorgeous! His eyes glided over her silky curls as they freed themselves from the black bobble in her hair. It was all he could do not to move his hand from her back and run his fingers through them. He remembered how bushy they used to be back in school, but now they were soft and shiny, the artificial light giving her an almost ethereal sheen.

"He didn't come home last night." She admitted eventually, dragging Harry from his thoughts.

"I think…he went home with someone else…I think he slept with someone else."

He just stared at her. He didn't know what to say. All he knew was that he wanted to kill Ron. "Wh – are you sure?" He muttered, avoiding her eyes.

"Not exactly, but he obviously wasn't with you, and he wasn't with Seamus or Dean or the twins…and there aren't many more possibilities are there." She pointed out.

"What about the Burrow?" Harry suggested. "Maybe he crashed out there."

"Harry – I know Ron's your best friend and you're bound to stick up for him, but I'm telling you now that I know it's not the first time he's done it."

"Hermione -,"

"He's done it before, Harry, what makes this time any different?"

"You're getting married." Harry reasoned.

"You'd think that would be it – but it seems that _I'm_ not enough for him." She stated simply.

How could she think that she wasn't enough for Ron? She was more than enough and Ron knew it. But that didn't explain his actions.

"Bollocks, Hermione. If anything you're _too_ good for him." Harry told her firmly, knowing that she'd just brush the compliment off as moot. He wanted her to believe it, but didn't know how.

"This isn't about me Harry -," She started.

"No? Who is it about then? Because I was led to believe that a relationship could only work if there were two or more people involved!" He snorted.

Hermione threw her head back, her long hair tumbling across her shoulders and upper back had Harry transfixed once again. "Look Harry, Ron's your friend

and -,"

"You're my friend too."

She sighed, "I know, Harry, but well – boys stick together in these situations don't they?"

"Do they?" He interrupted her again, but she didn't seem to have heard him.

"So I understand if you don't believe that he's been sleeping with other women behind my back. Ginny doesn't think he's do such a thing either!" She continued.

"Wait…Ginny knows?" He spluttered.

Hermione nodded biting her bottom lip and looking down at herself wringing her fingers.

Harry grabbed her hands to stop her doing it. "She never told me."

"I asked her not to. I valued your friendship far too much to have you turn against me too. Help me Harry, I love Ron but I don't know what to do anymore."

Harry followed the trail of tears that ran down her pink cheeks and tried to calm his anger. Eventually he brought his thumbs up to her face to wipe away the tears. Their eyes met and he could see the anguish in her pretty brown orbs that just made his heart melt. "'Mione, if he's hurting you this much then maybe it's for the best if you just end the relationship now before you get in any deeper. I know that you love him, but at least it's only the two of you. You have no ties…imagine if this happens again ten years from now and your married with three children…you'd find it harder then I'm sure!"

He was trying to stay neutral, to not let his feelings for her rule his head. He couldn't push things now.

"I understand Harry." She whispered, desperately trying to avoid his penetrating gaze, "I just don't know what to say to him."

"The truth would be a good place to start, Hermione."

Harry wrapped her in a tight embrace as she wept once more.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi Guys

Sorry I've taken so long to update - hopefully the next chapter will be up next week. Hope you enjoy it - R & R please.

Standard disclaimers apply.

**Chapter Two**

The following day Harry hadn't heard a thing from either Hermione or Ron and was beginning to worry. He had thought that one or both of them would have come to him if they'd ended the relationship, but there hadn't even been an owl in sight.

He had left Hermione's flat once she'd stopped crying and had calmed down long enough for him not to feel guilty about going. He would have stayed, and wanted to, but it was getting late and, even though Ron was his best friend, he still wouldn't have approved of Harry staying the night in his fiancé's flat.

Harry had come to the conclusion that Ron was a total arse for cheating on Hermione. Of course he had always been an arse in general, but that was one of the reasons Harry liked him so much…and it also made Harry look better. Ron was going to ruin, beyond repair, the only good thing in his life unless he changed his playboy ways. And unfortunately Harry very much doubted that that was going to happen any time soon.

Harry was disturbed from his thoughts by the shrill ringing of his mobile phone. After getting his own flat and living alone he decided that he would treat himself to a few muggle items. So he went shopping with Hermione, who had decided the same as well, and they bought televisions, microwaves, DVD players and mobile phones. Harry enjoyed having them in his home and was highly entertained whenever Ron or Mr Weasley came over to visit as they would ask him a whole barrage of questions about what the uses were and how they worked. Having both grown up in muggle households both Harry and Hermione took these things for granted and to see the wizards totally gobsmacked was quite priceless.

Harry pressed the green button to answer the call, "Hello?"

"Hi it's me."

He would recognise that voice anywhere. "Hermione, how are you?"

"Much better, thanks for last night. It did me the world of good just being able to talk about it with someone who was on my side for a change." She replied, sounding brighter.

Harry thought he already knew the answer to the next question but had to ask it anyway, "So what conclusion have you come to then? Should I still be buying you a wedding present?"

Her tinkle of laughter rang out gently. It was soft and sweet but it broke his heart into a million pieces. "You'd better get us the biggest gift."

"It's still on then?"

Hermione hesitated, only for a second or two, but Harry knew she was unsure of what his reaction was going to be. "We've talked it through and Ron's promised me that there will be no more 'other women'. I trust him, Harry, and so should you."

After a deep sigh he answered, "I can try…but I'm not promising anything."

"Thank you. Listen I'm on my lunch so I'd better get going and actually eat something. I'll see you on Thursday at Padma and Parvarti's party…Merlin that was a mouthful. Bye Harry."

"See you, Mione." He whispered, but she had already hung up.

Ron was snoring in an old battered leather chair in his office when Harry apparated into his flat later the same night.

Harry went over what he had been planning to say in his head briefly before waking the red-headed male up. It was simple; he'd tell Ron that Hermione had told him about him sleeping around and that if he didn't treat Hermione better that their friendship would be over. Drastic, he knew, but sometimes taking drastic measures worked better than beating around the bush with Ron Weasley.

Steeling himself with a large breath he shook Ron's arm to rouse him. "Ron, wake up, its Harry."

It took some persuading but finally Ron partially opened his eyes and looked up at his friend.

"Harry…what're you doing here?" He yawned, whilst stretching the sleep out of his body.

"Wondered if you'd fancy a night in and a chat? I've brought a case of butterbeers to see us through!" He explained, keeping his composure.

All in good time.

"So," Ron said once they were settled with an open bottle in front of them, "thanks for sorting out the robes thing yesterday. Herms didn't even mention them this morning. What did you say to her?"

"Actually she was upset when I arrived at the flat." Harry told him, almost smiling as he caught the shocked expression that flickered momentarily across Ron's face. "She was worried where you had been since you hadn't gone home the night before."

"Oh…" Ron muttered, his ears turning beetroot red, "What did she say exactly?"

Harry forced a laugh. "She seems to think that you might have been with someone else…another woman!"

Ron laughed with him, but that was forced also. "She's crazy!"

Harry's laughed ceased abruptly, "Is she?" He asked, his voice deep and questioning.

Ron's heart thundered in his chest as he replied, "Don't tell me you believe her? Ginny doesn't…she thinks Hermione's wrong in the head…"

Harry thumped his hands down on the table and held back the growl that threatened to escape him. "How dare you talk about Hermione like that? She's a better person than most, including us, and you take her for granted."

Ron nearly choked on his Butterbeer, having to cover his mouth to prevent the liquid from coming back out again. "Whoa…mate, what the bloody hell are you going on about? I haven't actually admitted anything and you're already jumping to conclusions."

Harry was finding it more and more difficult to control his raging anger, and the more Ron smirked into his bottle the more it grew.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you haven't shagged anyone else since you've been together." He demanded as he jumped to his feet and put his hands on his hips, a sign of his impatience.

Ron's smirk vanished as he stood up to his full height of six foot two, slightly taller than Harry, leaned forwards across his desk so his face was mere inches from his friend's and spoke slowly and clearly, "This has got fuck all to do with you."

Harry was incensed. He could not believe that Ron hadn't denied the allegations. Merlin, he had practically admitted it! The intense need to punch him in the nose was almost too much for Harry so he picked up his half-drunk butterbeer bottle and hurled it vehemently across the room, where it smashed against the wall, the liquid running down the wall and pooling on the floor.

"Get the hell out of my office! And don't turn up to the wedding either – me and Hermione don't want you there." Ron spat to the back of Harry's head.

"Speak for yourself Ron, but don't speak for Hermione – and I know she wouldn't agree with you." Harry turned back round to face him. "But don't worry; I won't be at your wedding – if there is one!"

Ron puffed out his chest in defiance, "Meaning?"

"Meaning Hermione isn't sure about you anymore." He folded his arms across his chest. "She doesn't know if she can trust you. She almost called the wedding off last night you know…but somehow you've twisted her back around your little finger and she's back right where you want her." He explained, beginning to tire of the confrontation. He just wanted to apparate the hell out of there. But there was one more thing he needed to get clear.

"Oh and another thing – if she does marry you make sure you treat her like the princess she is, 'cause if you don't…I sure as hell will!"

With that implied Harry apparated back to his own flat without a sound, leaving Ron open-mouthed at the realisation of his parting words.

As Thursday evening drew nearer Harry's nerves were beginning to show. It was the day of the party and he still hadn't made up his mind whether he was going to go or not.

He hadn't heard from Hermione and figured that she was either mad at him for confronting Ron or, most likely; Ron hadn't told her what had been said. If she found out that Harry had threatened Ron the way he had, or that he'd practically confessed his feelings she would have probably sent him a howler!

He knew though that Ron wouldn't tell his future wife about Harry confession in case she returned them, leaving him alone and depressed.

So, he wondered, should he go just to make things awkward for Ron, or should he miss the party altogether and risk being told off by Hermione for promising to go and then letting her down?

Sod it, Harry concluded, they're my friends as much as Ron's so I'm going to that party whether he likes it or not!

Eight o'clock came and went and Harry still hadn't had the courage to go into Padma and Parvarti's flat in south London. He had dressed in muggle clothing, black jeans and a black shirt and carried a case of Firewhiskey under his arm. He could sense the party atmosphere from outside the building and wished he was already in there.

"Pull your finger out, Harry." He told himself and pressed the buzzer with the Patil name next to it.

It took a while for someone to respond but eventually he heard a male voice telling him to "go on up, it's open".

Without waiting for himself to change his mind again he pulled out his wand and apparated straight up and opened the door to what looked like the Gryffindor common room after winning the Quidditch Cup! All the old Hogwarts gang were there making Harry feel instantly relaxed and at home.

From where he stood he could easily see Seamus, Dean and Neville stood near the drinks in the kitchen. Scanning his eyes around he spotted the Patil twins laughing with Lavender Brown and Ron's sister Ginny, who scowled as she spotted him in the doorway.

He took no heed of the silly girl and wandered over to his male friends, dropping the Firewhiskey onto the kitchen table once he got there.

They all exchanged greetings and Harry helped himself to a bottle of Butterbeer. Parvarti and Padma came over and welcomed him to their party, telling him to make himself at home.

Hermione and Ron arrived a little while later, and although Harry knew they were there, he carried on his conversation with Seamus, Dean about Quidditch.

"So who do you reckon is gonna win the title this year then?" Dean asked him, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Don't know mate, the Cannons could be playing better, and the Harpies…well, don't get me started on them!" Harry waffled all the while keeping a watchful eye on the couple who were making their way around the room talking to everyone they knew.

"Well I reckon the – "

Seamus was interrupted by Ron slapping him roughly on the back, "Cannons are gonna win this year, me too!"

Harry avoided the glare he could sense coming from him as he smiled and hugged Hermione.

"How are you?" He enquired, pulling back, remembering where they were and that she was engaged to someone else.

"I'm good thanks. You and Ron aren't talking?" She observed.

How did she do that?

"I hope it's nothing to do with what I told you the other night!"

Harry sighed, knowing he would have to blatantly lie to the one person he loved more than life itself. He hated that on had this one thing over him…well two things if you count the fact that he had Hermione too.

"Of course it isn't." He forced a grin, "You know what were like – always arguing – like an old married couple some might say!"

Hermione eyed him warily and he knew she didn't believe him.

"Seriously 'Mione, it's fine." He reassured her.

"I hope so, I don't want anything to ruin my wedding day."

The party finished at around two in the morning, but Harry had long since left the festivities. In fact he had only been able to stick seeing Ron and Hermione acting totally loved up for about an hour and then he cried off saying he had an early start and was absolutely knackered.

Ron had glared furiously at him as he had said his goodbyes to Hermione, hugging her close and kissing her briefly on the cheek. He said he would pop round sometime before the wedding and told her to take care.

Only Ron knew that Harry wouldn't be at the wedding as yet, Harry was pretty glad about that because it would be down to Ron to explain exactly why he hadn't been there and he hoped Hermione gave him what for, for not telling her beforehand.

No, she would not be a happy bunny at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi sorry its taken so long but i got there eventually.

Please review - its much appreciated.

Usual disclaimers apply - i don't get nowt!

Enjoy

**Chapter Three**

Harry woke early to the sounds of birds tweeting and chirping, mocking his mood. It was the day of the wedding and Harry was planning to disappear for a while. To be at the other side of the country, anywhere but within hexing distance of the Burrow, just in case he had a change of heart.

There was part of him that wanted the torture of seeing Hermione saying "I do" to another man. He wondered if the pain would be enough to drive him to lunacy.

_Lunacy seems like a pleasant sort of place to live right now_, he thought to himself.

Dragging himself out of the warmth of his bed Harry padded into the bathroom and started the shower. His mind drifted subconsciously back to Tuesday night. Knowing that Ron always went out with the lads on that particular evening every week he hoped that it would still be going on and so he took a chance and apparated to see Hermione.

Luckily he had been right and Ron wasn't there. Unfortunately he ended up having to answer a barrage of questions about why he wasn't with them.

"I don't understand Harry, you and Ron always go out together Tuesday's and meet up with Fred, George, Dean, Seamus and Neville. So why is tonight any different?" Hermione harassed him so much he almost cracked and explained the whole damned thing to her, but he managed to satisfy her by saying he just wanted to spend time with her, being his best friend, and that probably it would be the last time for a long time that they would be able to spend any time together.

She hadn't seemed totally happy about his answer but at least she stopped demanding to know why he wasn't out with the others.

"So," Harry began after they were settled with a glass of wine and a pizza, "are you all ready for Saturday? Everything sorted? No last minute details to confirm?"

"Everything is totally going to plan, I must admit that I expected something horrendous to happen, but it all seems to be going okay." Hermione told him, crossing her fingers as if to repel any bad luck.

"Good. With all your organisational skills I would expect nothing but perfection from this wedding." Harry teased her with a wink.

"Harry!"

"You know I'm only kidding 'Mione, I'm sure it'll be a beautiful ceremony." Harry admitted truthfully.

"Well, you'll soon find out won't you. Hey, do you want to see something amazing?" She jumped up suddenly and without waiting for a reply she dashed down the hall and into her bedroom. Harry heard rustling and then nothing.

He waited at least five minutes before she returned. He heard her coming back down the hall towards him and as he looked up his breath was knocked from his body.

She was in her wedding gown.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. He could speak, the words failed him. He blinked trying to kick his brain into gear, but nothing wanted to work. He was paralysed. Wanting to do nothing else but look at the vision before him for the remainder of his life.

"Harry? Are you alright Harry?"

Her voice dragged him back into reality and he shook his head clear. "Sure. I'm fine."

"Am I that hideous that I make you black out?" She smiled, teasing him.

His eyes caught hers and held them. "You look…stunning."

She beamed after hearing his words, "Thank you, Harry. So you think Ron will like it too?"

"If he doesn't drop dead from the sight of you on Saturday then he isn't the right guy for you 'Mione."

"Oh don't say that, I actually want to marry him, not just bury him!" She groaned mockingly.

"Seriously Hermione, you look amazing…beautiful…I never thought -,"

"What?" She interrupted him, "That I could look like a girl?"

Harry knew she was still self-conscious and that she never truly believed herself to be worthy of any attention she received. He got to his feet and walked towards her. He placed his hands on her arms and as she looked up at him with her questioning brown eyes he almost melted before her.

"Listen to me," He began after clearing his throat, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing."

She shook her head and breathed out, "I'm not."

"Yes you are. You're beautiful inside and out 'Mione…and I'll always-," He paused unsure of whether he wanted to say the words.

"You'll always what, Harry?"

Did he tell her that he loved her, or fob her off with some other lame tale? If he was to say the three little words he longed to utter for so long what on earth would she say? Four days before she was to marry Ron!

But if he didn't say it she would probably never know how he felt. The ultimate question was would he be ready to give up his friendship with her if she loathes him for his feelings?

"I'll always be here for you, I couldn't live without you…I love you…you're my best friend!"

"Best friend…right!" Hermione pulled away, the expression in her eyes unreadable.

Harry watched as she retreated back to her bedroom. What just happened? She appeared to be disappointed that he'd called her his best friend – what was she expecting him to say?

He thought back to the conversation.

What was that look in her eyes when he'd said those three words? A look of encouragement, expectancy…whatever it was has vanished faster than Ron's food! But still it was strange.

She was changing out of the dress and he knew that the moment had passed. The moment he had been waiting for, for so long, had been upon him and he still couldn't gather his Gryffindor courage and tell his best friend how he really felt.

He was undeniably ashamed, and incredibly angry with himself.

_Doesn't Hermione deserve to know the truth? _His inner voice asked him

_Of course she does!_

_So tell her!_

_I can't! She'll hate me – never speak to me again!_

_How can a wimp like you be the so-called saviour of the Wizarding World!_

"Arrgh!" Harry bellowed, fisting his hair in frustration.

Hermione reappeared moments later, in her pyjamas, looking at Harry with a worried expression as she folded her arms and leant on the doorframe.

"Are you alright?" She asked him.

Upon hearing her voice he visibly relaxed, his hands falling back down to hang by his hips. He nodded unable to bring his head up to look at her. Obviously his previous actions concerned her, which meant that she at least didn't hate him.

"Right…well, we still have that movie if you'd like to watch it?" She offered, padding past him into the living area of the flat.

Harry waited until she passed before answering, "I think it'll be best if I just went home, don't you?"

"If you want…" She began, but then changed her mind. "Harry, look, I'm sorry about before I just…well, I wanted to know if you…that is I was wondering if…" She turned to face him. "Have you ever had feelings for me Harry?"

The bottom nearly fell out of his world. She knew. She knew how he felt but chose Ron anyway.

_Yeah, well what does that tell you? _The voice returned.

_It's too late!_

"Too late for what?"

Oh Merlin he'd said that out loud. Damn it, it was only supposed to be in his head!

"Too late for what, Harry?" Hermione grabbed his arms and demanded to know what he was babbling about.

Taking a deep breath he said, "It's too late to talk about that now."

"Why? Why is it too late?" She cried, furiously wiping her fresh tears away.

"Because you're marrying Ron." He stated simply before turning and apparating away before he could say anything he'd later regret.

So Harry spent the day of the wedding in Hogsmeade.

He supposed that everyone he knew would be at the Burrow and took a chance that nobody would approach him if he scowled enough.

After apparating outside the Shrieking Shack shortly after nine thirty he trudged slowly into the village, kicking stones and bits of dirt as he went. He thought back to the happier times he had spend wandering around Hogsmeade with both of his best friends. Those had been the days, not exactly carefree, but they had been a welcome release from the threat of Lord Voldemort that always seemed to be around at Hogwarts. It had been like a whole new world to Harry. Something which nobody could have taken away – his freedom.

He visited all the old haunts, Honeydukes sweet shop, Zonko's joke shop and the Three Broomsticks, where he had his lunch, were just a few.

Harry's heart thundered constantly against his chest the whole day. The feeling of bunking off lessons loitered vaguely in the back of his mind, but it was the reality that Hermione, the only person he truly loved, was marrying somebody else that gave him the sense of dread he hadn't felt since the battle with Voldemort.

All his life he seemed to lose whomever was the recipient of his love at that time. His parents first, and then Sirius to Voldemort and his sodding war. He lost Cho to Cedric and then lost Ginny to the war also. But now, he had lost Hermione to Ron, and that hit Harry hard.

It wasn't even the Ron he had grown up with, he was different now, more of a playboy than the bumbling teenager who stood by his side throughout the worst years of his life.

The fame of being the best friend of the Golden Boy of the Wizarding world was too much of a temptation for Ronald Bilius Weasley. All the interviews, society appearances, photo opportunities, freebies and, of course, the girls was everything he had ever dreamed of and more. Coming from a very large family with very little money would do that to you.

So he answered every invite, appearing at everything from the Ministry Ball to the opening of an envelope, accepted every free gift he was offered and went home with every girl who asked, more or less.

One could say he was a lucky guy.

Harry would say he was a prick!

Nevertheless, here he was newly married to the brightest witch of her age, and about to go off on honeymoon to Paris.

Harry's absence had yet to be mentioned by his new wife. He knew she was incredibly hurt by the fact he hadn't shown up but she had managed to cover her feelings well. She had smiled and blushed and cried during the service. He, meanwhile, was relieved.

_Obviously she realised that she had most definitely chosen the right friend! _He told himself smugly.

Once the goodbyes had been said, they apparated to a Wizarding hotel on the outskirts of Paris and settled themselves into the honeymoon suite, where upon their arrival they were greeted with champagne and strawberries.

The main room was a fair size with a three piece suite, writing desk, and dining table and chairs. There were two doors leading off opposite sides of the main room, one being a very spacious bathroom with two person sunken tub and a larger than average shower cubicle, the other room was the bedroom. The bed was a huge four poster covered in black silk sheets and there was a balcony over looking the street below.

With a flick of her wand Hermione had unpacked their cases and put a silencing charm around the room. She turned to her new husband who had poured the drinks and asked him the question he had been dreading.

"So, where the hell was he?"

Ron almost spat out his mouthful of bubbly at her bluntness. "How the bloody hell should I know!"

"You two haven't spoken for ages – have you fallen out again? It must be bad for him to miss our wedding Ronald!"

Ron sighed, he hated it when she called him Ronald!

"Look all I know is that he didn't show. Luckily Dean agreed to step in and be best man at short notice. I don't know why he wasn't there Herms." He sidled up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Now can we please get back to the job in hand?"

"If you don't tell me the truth there'll be no job in any hand! And don't call me Herms!" She snapped pushing him away. "Why wasn't he out on your stag do on Tuesday night?"

"What – he was – pissed as a three-legged Hippogriff an' all!"

"How can you lie to me so easily, Ron? I know he wasn't there because he came to see me at the flat." Hermione walked to the large window, which had a stunning view of the city.

"Oh, did he now!" Ron considered, "And why would he do that?"

She shrugged, "He said it would be the last time we'd get to spend any time together."

""Well, maybe he was right."

Hermione turned to him narrowing her eyes, "What?"

"Well you're my wife now, Mrs Ronald Weasley…and as soon as we start having kids there'll be no time for anything else will there?" He downed the champagne from the flute and proceeded to fill it up again.

"That's Mrs Hermione Granger-Weasley, and I don't plan on having any children yet thank you very much!" She stated, trying to keep her temper in check.

"But that's what Weasley women do – have kids!"

"Yes well, therein lies the problem Ronald…I am not a Weasley woman…I am a Granger."

Ron took that moment to explode with anger. "No you are a Weasley – and I'll be damned if I'm going to let _him_ ruin our wedding night!" He began pacing the room. "So what if he threatened me! Telling me that if I don't look after you he'll take you off me – I'd like to see him bloody well try it!"

Hermione had only listened up until 'take you off me', after that she had sort of blank everything else out.

He did have feelings for her.

But Harry had been right when he had refused to discuss it the other night…it was too late. But she had longed for him to tell her for so long. If he had she would never have married Ron.

" – I'm the one who won this time Harry bloody Potter…she's mine now!"


End file.
